Metaphorical Hostages

 

Back in 2017, I got this book “Hostage at the Table” from IMD Business School, Lausanne with my admission confirmation.  It was my MBA application phase and I was trying out all my next level choices after getting a #rejection from my first choice school: INSEAD.  I was also dealing with major imposter syndrome to think I could really make something out of doing a full-time MBA with six years of law firm experience.  This was reinforced by conversations with recent #lawyer-MBAs or just MBA grads in general involving difficulties finding jobs in the UK during Brexit, procuring a visa in Europe for a Non-European, dealing with student debt and the prospect of having to start another career path at a junior position along with various personal considerations.  Looking back, I don’t think all of these were really valid objections in themselves as I can certainly refute each of them now with very carefully crafted arguments and examples learnt with the wisdom of age (and #Linkedinstalking) but sometimes gut instinct excels in creating so-called logical arguments. 

I digress. Going back to George Kohlrieser’s Hostage at the Table, invites from some top-notch business schools in UK and Europe and my head trapped in a “hostage situation” as per the classic explanation from the author: “any time you feel entrapped, powerless and helpless, you are, in fact a hostage”.  This #metaphorical hostage situation was only broken by applying and getting accepted to be a part-time MBA student at NUS Business School while continuing to work full-time.  I loved living in Singapore.  I was (and am) bullish on Asia.  On the other hand, it was nothing like I had ever imagined my MBA journey to be.  That is both a positive and a negative statement just as the best oxymorons tend to be. 

I completed in April 2020 and so much has happened since.  Not even counting the Covid Blip.  I am still working primarily as a lawyer so many people ask me what I “gained” out of the MBA? I always flip it back to say – what does anyone gain out of most things in life?  Just experiences, memories and certain unmeasurable intangible benefits.  I hate justifying life choices and I will not pretend that I have not questioned and examined myself tediously on the same question.  Do I regret declining IMD and the others who had graciously offered me a spot and a chance at a different life? Maybe.  But as I completed reading Kolhrieser’s (incidentally a professor at IMD I missed learning directly from) master-piece, one quote jumped out at me and still does: “you have the right to choose to do whatever you want”.  So simple yet so powerful.  And today as Singapore celebrates its 57^th Birthday, I celebrate my first as a permanent resident here.  Knowing that any other choice would have led me away from this exact moment which is perfect in its completeness and its incompleteness. Majulah Singapura.