Why do we have children? The fact that I can even ask this questions signals that I am one of those lucky few women who have a choice over their own bodies and reproductive rights and everything I write here is qualified with that gratefulness. But to go back to the original question, we all have very personal reasons why we have children. I thought about it a lot pre-kid but I always knew we would have one as my husband was so sure he wanted one. He wouldn’t be able to tell me why he did but his unwavering certainty allowed my doubts to quell a bit. So we had one. Rish. And he changed my perspective on everything! This isn’t a bubbly, frothy, mothers day post about how he is the best thing to happen to me. That’s subjective and what he has done isn’t subjective. He is objectively the single most important factor for my personal growth and my own little mindfulness inspiration.
In the last year, the theoretical teachings of two of my gurus have merged with the practicalities of Raising Rish. Conscious parenting from @Drshefali and the @artofliving from @srisriravishankar aren’t just mantras I hear and forget but they form a part of my core and my values. It just also means that I examine every action and every word which I speak to my child. Some people might call this over-thinking but then the alternative is to let my ego override my consciousness which I am unwilling to do.
How were we parented though? I have really been reflecting on that too. Conscious Parenting philosophy says that all our issues arise from how unconsciously we were parented ourselves thereby projecting the same unconsciousness onto our children. Mark Wolyn takes that even further when he goes into generational trauma and epigenetics affecting everything from our diet, our temper and our fears. Is this a nice thought on Mother’s Day? No and it is worse to suggest to your own mother as I bravely did one time. Strangely enough though, she took it much better than I thought she would. Along with the expected (you had a great childhood! and I really did, all things considered) came the unexpected (what does this mean and how do you apply it?) and then it made me think- yes there was some additional enmeshment, yes there were punishments which wouldn’t be super “conscious” when examined through today’s lens. But even without the benefit of everything we know today, there were glimmers of conscious parenting shining through (I was never hit, I was able to voice my opinions and stop tennis or piano but continue with dance).
Maybe it
was unconscious consciousness? Just as I know, I now have some conscious
unconsciousness. I just know one thing
remains the same with mothers through the generations. Love.
With a slight twist, for me: Love, Consciously. Happy Mothers (Mindfulness) Day!
