3rd from the Start
Dearest Rish,
I
decided to start a short poem series for your birthday this year which should
be a realistic enough goal to continue for every year. If I start to write a note, it may never
end. So I thought a poem might be more
contained and express my (sometimes sappy but always beautiful) overwhelming emotions
more succinctly:
If its true that all the world’s a stage, then we were all supposed to be the star of our own show,
And we are that blazing star just like a heroine in
&Juliet if we choose to be but somewhere somehow we get stuck.
Parents aren’t what they were supposed to be, or school wasn’t
or that first job wasn’t,
I was the star too but I got lost mid-way, wondered what my
purpose was, wondered if I was good enough through the best years of my life,
I didn’t know I wanted you but there you were suddenly, a
little speck, almost unreal, somewhere in my belly.
I was never lonely after that for nine months, even if I was
alone and my thoughts were never my own, only that I would safely hypnobirth
this little baby growing inside me,
When you were in my arms after a strangely gratifying labour
and birthing process, I couldn’t stop staring at you and touching you;
No one and nothing had prepared me for the avalanche of
emotion and madness that followed where my mind was split into two – one loving
you and the other wanting my old life back;
But whenever I saw you and held you, there was only ever awe,
and an overwhelming loss of my immortality complex in the face of your beautiful
creation;
Living in the moment wasn’t just a new year’s resolution but
a necessity to keep up with this precocious, ever changing ball of contradictions,
My stage was not my own anymore but I was slowly learning
from you to be its star again, re-parenting myself with your guidance;
Whether today I am your favourite parent or not, you remain
my favourite conscious soul, happy 3rd my love!
