FEM

Today I dont want to be the wimp. Today I am angry. Today I am not diplomatic. Today I am going to be blunt. I hate hindi serials!!! I hate their portrayal of women, of relationships, of life! I dont profess to know a lot about life but I have been watching Hindi serials for a long time, often reluctantly because it used to be on for all my waking hours and at one point of time, on the only TV in the house. Now, I watch only when I want numbness. (Ok, I won't give any more excuses...they are kind of addictive). But I disagree with them. And on pain of being branded a feminist, (Actually it's not a pain, every woman I believe, worth her ego should be a feminist) and in utmost anger, I have started the Female Ego Movement (FEM). (I am the sole member of this movement at the moment) I think that Feminist movements were fine in their day and age but now that we have managed to get under the skin of men in a number of fields, (at least some of us have) [this was a pun, it makes no difference if I say it wasn't, you'll always think it was) it's now time for something else and I thank Ekta Kapoor and her ilk for giving me the inspiration through their medieval, screwed up, patriarchal, hindi serials.

I would first like to lay down some fundamental tenets of FEM (DO NOT dare compare it with the Hair Removal Cream. FEM is not the best brand...oops sorry...this wasnt for this post):

1) Women need egos. Their egos are bigger, more important and often hidden. So every time a woman is paraded in front of suitors who reject her, every time she is scolded by her mom-in-law and every time she is told that her aim in life is to be the ideal bahu, she should turn around and stick out her tongue. So There!

2) Women need wives too. This is not an original idea. I believe I have read about it a number of times. And this is not a support of lesbianism or a critique of the flavour of the season i.e. Section 377.  IPC. I just think that women need those glorified and absolutely subservient creatures who dress in heavy ugly Silks and heavy ugly gold jewellery and look after the house, the kids and the bai everyday. And what's more. These wives should be Men.

3) Women need a career. They don't need a job as a secretary, or a part-time teacher, while they wait to get married.  And then promptly quit these jobs when their boss falls in love with their dainty beauty in modest salwar kameezes.  Nowadays they are sometimes social workers whose "cause" is then gallantly adopted by their rich but kind suitors. Blah.  Women can fight the causes better because guess what its HER cause.  I am sure if someone asked me to fight for sachin's return to professional cricket, i would do a poor job.  I mean he's a great cricketer and i admire him for leaving the dirty sport with a ujala spotless reputation but that would not be my chosen cause.  Sorry for this obtuse example but it was for the benefit of indian men as i would hope women get the point im making.

4) Dressing in western clothes doesnt make me evil. Nor does red lipstick.  Pop colours fyi are in (oops not that relevant for this post either).  Why is it that in today's day and age when even grandmoms from traditional families wear dresses and pants and there is immense hullabaloo and criticism regarding the perceived image of women in the rape debate (kudos to the makers of that viral sarcastic video - its your fault http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8hC0Ng_ajpY). Wanted: a serial where the bahu prances around in shorts or a power suit for her job as a corporate honcho.  Ekta, are you listening?

FEM will not rest till reality meets soaps and then some.  In fact, I accept that my reality may not be the reality of every Indian woman.  So FEM will continue till every fantasy meets reality (maybe other than men wearing ugly saris, I clearly hadnt thought that one through).

Go FEM!